


Blood and Tears

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Kind of AU, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-23 01:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3749818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We are weighed down, every moment, by the conception and the sensation of Time. And there are but two means of escaping and forgetting this nightmare: pleasure and work. Pleasure consumes us. Work strengthens us. Let us choose.” - Charles Baudelaire</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so! This is only the prologue, and yes, I know how short it is. 
> 
> Don't ask me why (I have no fricking idea), but I got the idea for this while listening to the Imogen Heap song "Hide and Seek." So in honour of that, I've taken the title of this from that song.

Blood and Tears: Prologue

 

“Thus do the hopes we have in him touch ground

And dash themselves to pieces.” - William Shakespeare

 

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN BLACK BUTLER/KUROSHITSUJI. As much as I'd like to.**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel calls. He’s scared, so very scared. If there’s one thing Ciel hates, it’s being afraid of things, and in truth, there are so many things that scare him…

 

Sebastian.... That bastard...

 

He said... He's supposed to be here...

 

He's not supposed to leave me...

 

Where is he? Where is Ciel, even, for that matter? All he sees is darkness. And he knows he must be dreaming (how could this possibly be real?), but this is so different from all of his other nightmares… and that’s what this is, isn’t it? It must be, to fill him with so much terror, so much dread…

 

But that can’t be right, because Ciel’s not afraid of the dark. He isn’t now, nor has he ever been. Ciel loves the dark, embraces the dark. So why is he afraid? It can’t be the darkness… so, what then?

 

Maybe, if he didn’t feel so panicked, he’d be able to figure it out. He’s sure he would be able to figure it out, and not just it, but other things, too….

 

Like where the hell Sebastian is.

 

And then Ciel realizes that, wait, he’s dreaming… or, no, he already knew that....

 

And this is all just so confusing, and he's so tired, and isn't he sleeping? And he's just so done with this, he's ready to give up, he's willing to give up... he wants to be loved, he wants a break from all the literal insanity surrounding him, he just, he just wants.

 

He just wants Sebastian.

 

And then-

 

"Young Master... It's time for you to wake up now." Sebastian says, waking Ciel gently.

 

And then, his eyes open.

 


	2. What the Thunder Said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy! So, Chapter One! Yay! 
> 
> Also, very important: The italicized lines at the end are from The Waste Land, Part V: What the Thunder Said by T. S. Eliot. That's also where the chapter title comes from.
> 
> I apologize for the length (or lack thereof).

Blood and Tears: Chapter One

“We are weighed down, every moment, by the conception and the sensation of Time. And there are but two means of escaping and forgetting this nightmare: pleasure and work. Pleasure consumes us. Work strengthens us. Let us choose.” - Charles Baudelaire

 

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN BLACK BUTLER/KUROSHITSUJI. As much as I'd like to.**

 

* * *

****  
  


"Young Master... It's time for you to wake up now." Sebastian says, waking 11-year-old Ciel gently.

It’s a bright morning, and the sunlight pours through the windows in waves of gold. Just like any other beautiful summer morning. On any other beautiful summer day.

Or, so it seems.

And then Ciel opens his eyes, and all peace is shattered.

“Sebastian…?” He looks up at his butler, eyes full of fear, but more so confusion, and it petrifies Sebastian. Yes, demons are beings of the darkness, and Sebastian is no exception, but little boys are also children, and Ciel is still a little boy.

This isn’t right. Not right at all.

"...yes, young master?"

And Ciel’s eyes widen, and they suddenly become crystal clear from glassy terror, and his small frame begins to tremble. Because _none_ of this makes any _sense_ sense to him, and wait, what? Sebastian? But he was gone wasn’t he? Or… or is he awake? And then his body stops trembling, and the fear disappears from his eyes, and he _laughs_.

In a matter of seconds, the Earl has gone from a terrified child to a complete psychopath.

 

Sebastian will never understand humans, especially not this one.

“Sebastian,” the boy says, “I forbid you from ever leaving me.”

Sebastian smirks. “Is that an order, my lord?”

Ciel glares at him. “Everything I tell you is an order.”

And that’s that. “Yes, my lord.” Sebastian bows, and balance is restored.

And yet somehow, all is not well.

* * *

The day is a boring one, at least for the Phantomhive butler. In his opinion, the worst punishment a contracted demon can receive is being forced to do the mundane daily tasks of a human butler. To him, it’s like forcing a human child to write the same phrase over and over and over, “So you’ll remember.” As if that’ll help anyone.

And yet, just as eventually the phrase ceases to be words, to have meaning, and dissolves into rhythms and sounds and shapes repeating over and over in an unending pattern, the chores become routine, mundane as they may be, and are absorbed into the days.

It’s not the chores that are truly bothering him, no.

It’s his young master’s episode this morning. During the whole of his year as the Phantomhive butler, he had only once seen Ciel so distraught, and that was way back at the beginning. It was because of a nightmare that time too, as he recalls.

 

He knows that’s what must’ve caused Ciel’s distress this morning, and yet he can't help but worry as to why. His young master hasn't had a nightmare in so long. There has to be something to have caused it.

But nothing's changed.

* * *

The next night, it happens again.

The first thing Ciel notices when he wakes up is the lit candle by his bedside.

The second thing Ciel notices when he wakes up is Sebastian leaning over him, his concern palpable.  

“Se…bastian?” The boy is clinging to him before the butler can even utter a ‘Yes, my lord.’

Sebastian, slightly bewildered but not one to lose his cool, wraps his arms gently around his master. He feels fresh tears begin to wet his jacket, and muffled sobs echo throughout the room.

Ciel, for his part, isn’t even aware that he’s crying.

The memories of his nightmare still plague him and he is haunted by an insurmountable fear.

_After the torchlight red on sweaty faces_

He was so scared.

_After the frosty silence in the gardens_

So alone...

_After the agony in stony places_

Abandoned.

_The shouting and the crying_

_Why do they always leave me alone like this…?_

But then he remembers that he’s not alone. These are strong, warm arms around him.

The man may be a soul-devouring demon, but with him, he feels safe.

_"Prison and palace and reverberation_

__

_Of thunder of spring over distant mountains_

__

_He who was living is now dead_

__

_We who were living are now dying_

__

_With a little patience"_

**-T. S. Eliot, The Waste Land**

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to review.

**Author's Note:**

> So... what did you guys think? Good? Bad? Made you want to find out where I live so that you can murder me in my sleep (please don't)? Yeah.... anyway. Reviews are appreciated.


End file.
